Welcome to part deux, of a three-part saga about my greatest encounter with the legendary Ms. Britney Spears. If you’re just joining me now, you’ll want to read my latest blog post and get yourself up to speed. Now let’s pick back up where we left off…
Two long weeks of planning and scheming after winning the tickets to the screening and countdown for Britney’s MTV documentary, Britney: For the Record, and the big day was finally here. I made the decision to ditch school for the first time ever. We went to our first two classes and at nutrition I snuck out and Niki went to the nurse’s office. She pretended to have really bad stomach pains and gave the nurse my phone number and said it was her mother’s phone number. Niki probably went to the nurse once a week to get out of school so the nurse knew that Niki’s mom was fresh off the boat from Iran and had a thick accent. She called me and I dished out a pathetic excuse for a Persian accent…and it worked. Next stop FedEx to make a fake ID.
All we wanted to do was scan Niki’s real license and change her age from 17 to 18 and her name to Sophie’s name. We did the best we could…which was not passable by any stretch of the imagination as a real ID. When we got to the front desk to get it laminated, the sales clerk refused because what we were doing was illegal…that thought hadn’t even crossed our minds because we weren’t making the fake ID for evil…we were making it for good! Niki started crying and we explained it was for a Britney screening and showed her the tickets. She finally agreed to laminate the ID…but not because of our tears. I’m pretty sure she did it because she saw how horrendous the fake ID was and knew it would never work. Even though we knew the chances of this pathetic ID actually working was slim to none, we took our chances and drove down to the meeting spot where the shuttle buses would take us to the secret set.
We wanted to get to the shuttle buses really early to get front row seats, but we weren’t really worried about time because we had secured tickets. We were wrong. We got there two hours early and there was already WELL OVER a hundred people in line…ALL WITH TICKETS. When we were just 6 people away from getting on the last shuttle bus, they told us there was no more room. Apparently so many people requested tickets within the first half-hour of the event being posted on http://www.1iota.com that the system failed and released too many tickets. I WAS INCONSOABLE. We cried to the security guards and begged them to let us on a bus, but they said there was nothing they could do. Just when we thought we had to turn around and go back to 5th period, I had a Slumdog Millionaire moment.
I overheard one of the security guards telling a fellow guard to go to RenMar Studios. I knew EXACTLY where that studio was because I had been there multiple times as a child to be in the audience of the Lizzie Mcguire show. It was a 10-minute drive from where we were. We ran to the car and sped over to the venue. We saw a line of people waiting outside the studio…all with wristbands. We stood at the end of the line, sans any plan whatsoever. Once again, we thought we reached an impasse…until the three trannies in front of us heard our problem and gave us the solution.
TO FIND OUT HOW THE TRANNIES HELPED US GET INTO THE SCREENING AND WHAT HAPPENED WHEN WE FINALLY GOT INSIDE, SUSCRIBE TO MY RSS FEED OR CHECK BACK LATER THIS WEEK FOR THE FINAL PART!
Living Legend; You Can Look But Don't Touch 